In a world full of expectations, how can we help individuals define success on their own terms? Success is often shaped by societal pressures, comparisons, and external validation. But true fulfillment comes from choices that align with personal values and aspirations. As practitioners, we can help guide individuals to reflect on what success means to them through their own lens.

Understanding Comparison

Many students struggle with the pressure of comparison, especially at an age where social media constantly showcases other’s achievements. As a result, it may be difficult for them to trust their instincts when making decisions about their future.

I have personally experienced this firsthand. Having played sports my entire life, I appreciated the discipline and teamwork it taught me, but I also became so used to the structured guidance that I didn’t always lean on my own voice. Once my life no longer revolved around sports, I faced the difficult reality of making my own decisions and comparing those to others. I found myself searching for guidance from those around me and, at times, let their opinions shape my choices. However, through many experiences and conversations, I uncovered what genuinely resonated and felt right for me. I just had to take the time to understand myself better to make authentic choices. Through my career coaching appointments, I’ve found that this is a common struggle for students, as well.

From an early age, we are taught to follow directions, seek approval, and meet expectations. This process makes comparisons feel natural, and while having a support system is invaluable, it’s easy for advice from others to create a sense of doubt about our own path. As practitioners, it’s important to help individuals recognize that while advice and guidance is beneficial, the choices they make ultimately impact only them. Encouraging self-reflection and independent decision making can empower them to take initiative on their journeys.

Helping Others Find Their Voice

Growing up, many factors can impact how the future unfolds, including upbringing, background, culture, and people. The reality is that each person has a unique journey, shaped by different circumstances. Despite these differences, it is still human nature to compare ourselves to others, even when we’re not on the same trajectory. But why?

I have seen this in both my day-to-day life and in my role as a career coach. Students have told me about how well their peers are doing, creating a sense of doubt about their own progression and career path, so I remind them that success can look different for everyone. Success can be found in everyday moments, like waking up with gratitude for the day ahead, or achieving long-term goals, such as buying a house or landing a dream job. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept.

With this in mind, I often tell students that there are many ways to help define success, such as gratitude lists, journal entries, meditation, affirmations, and even vision boards. Even simple acts like choosing an outfit for dinner without sending a picture in the group chat or trusting your gut instinct when ordering off a menu can be ways to practice. These exercises can encourage individuals to focus on self-development to become more confident in their choices.

Defining success is a continuous process that needs self-awareness, reflection, and intentionality. As practitioners, we play a role in helping individuals take small, but meaningful, steps towards helping them define their success. Encouraging reflection and emphasizing that success looks different for everyone can help them build confidence to clarify their own path.